Dating FAQ

Is there really such a thing as 'fashionably late'?

We would advise you to be absolutely on time to all of your dates. Give yourself time to arrive in plenty of time even if the traffic is heavy or parking is difficult to find. Being late is often interpreted as disrespectful and may start the date off on the wrong foot. Also you don't want to feel hurried, because that will increase your stress levels and thus undermine your ability to enjoy and engage in the meeting.

When I get nervous I don't come across well. What can I do to relax?

Give yourself plenty of time to get ready, travel to the date and park properly, perhaps even give yourself time to familiarize yourself with the location, find out where the restrooms are, etc. You can also try the following little relaxation technique: While you are getting ready, become aware of the sensation of breath in your nostrils. Breathing a little heavily at first, while you dress etc. Even while you are traveling to the date - try to retain this awareness - even if its just peripherally. Each time the mind wonders away, gently come back to the breath. During your date if you feel yourself tensing up, you can always bring your attention back to the sensation of the natural breath - and remember, no one is worth compromising your health for ... so BREATHE!

I'm often too shy to tell someone that I like them, and too empathetic to tell someone that I don't like them - do you have any suggestions?

That's one of the great advantages of using CheckMates, after the date you can tell your matchmaker, and they will carefully, tactfully pass along your feelings.

I know that its important to make an effort, dress nicely, be on time, etc, but how can you avoid appearing too eager?

Excessive eagerness is something that begins as a state of mind, and then appears in our behavior, expression, etc. If you are too attached to finding a mate, if you lack confidence in yourself, just as you are, without a mate, then you are likely to appear eager, irrespective of any efforts you might make to the contrary. Just relax, let go of some of those expectations, and enjoy meeting these new people without always worrying about finding THE ONE. Learn to like your own company, and then you will find someone right, who you likes your company too.